The Pilgrim Congress

Sometimes I think that having OCD is like having a super awesome special power.  Like Superman can fly (or something.  I don’t know, I’m a girl and not a virgin so superhero facts are not my forte), and Spiderman can like… eat flies or whatever.  Huh, I actually have no idea what Spiderman’s powers are [...]

So I’ve been watching Ally McBeal on Netflix and HOLY JESUS you guys this show is terrible.   While that may not seem like much of a revelation to you, I used to love this show when it first aired.  Granted I was like fourteen at the time and in love with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, so [...]

1.  Ask me, “So, when are you and Ben going to start a family?”
2.  Respond with, “You’re pregnant!” when I say, “I have good news!”
<insert eight other iterations of that same idea here>
Here’s the thing, asking a lady about her sex life?  That shit is inappropriate.  Asking people about their family plans?  That shit is [...]

There is probably nothing I hate more than when someone forwards me some asinine email about crime rates, or people of Walmart, or a video of some kid dancing to some piece of music that makes my ears bleed.  Lets just all agree that the Internet is a truly awesome place, full of wonder and [...]

My back is broken.  Well, my sacrum.  Not my entire back.  Like I can still walk and stuff.  I’ve gotten ahead of myself, lets back up a bit.
Monday morning, I take Coco out for a walk before I leave for the office.  The stairs are icy and I slip and fall.  On my brick stairs.  [...]

Happy Thanksgiving Americans!!  This is my favorite holiday.  Why?  Many reasons, allow me to elaborate:

I Hate Turkeys.  I live in New Hampshire, and in case you weren’t aware, New Hampshire is overrun with turkeys.  Also, in case you weren’t aware, turkeys are assholes.  They chase small children.  They also surround my Jeep and force me [...]

Up until now there have been only two subjects that I considered off limits in this blog.
1.  My job.
This is purely practical.  I have no interest in being dooce’d.  I work in a conservative field, for a conservative company, in a very buttoned-up position.  Also, my job is not terribly [...]

Or maybe a more accurate title would be, I am *this close* to procreation.  Other people’s procreation.

I have about 20 million pregnant friends at the moment.  And about 10 million friends with new babies.  And you know what?  I love babies.  I love their chubby cheeks and baby smell.  I love their fuzzy heads and [...]

At the funeral of a friend’s father
John: Thank you so much for coming.
Me: My pleasure.
~
Out to dinner with a girlfriend
Macy: Guess what?! I’m pregnant!
Me: Oh no.
~
First meeting a neighbor.  I am walking my dog.
Neighbor: Aw, what’s her name?
Me: Coco .  Isn’t she adorable?!  She’s really smart to!  Like I can’t believe how [...]