The Pilgrim Congress

There are all sorts of things at which I excel.  For example, I can listen to a podcast and read a book simultaneously and retain nearly all of both.  Also, I give a stellar blow job.  These are just the highlights people, I have all manner of other talents in the valley between fellatio and [...]

Sometimes I think that having OCD is like having a super awesome special power.  Like Superman can fly (or something.  I don’t know, I’m a girl and not a virgin so superhero facts are not my forte), and Spiderman can like… eat flies or whatever.  Huh, I actually have no idea what Spiderman’s powers are [...]

Tomorrow I am leaving for Manila.  Tomorrow I will get up at an ungodly hour and drive to Logan airport and get on an airplane.  And then I will throw up and pray to Jesus.  And then throw up some more.  And pray again.  And then I’ll die.  I’m pretty sure this is the arc [...]

Funny story, my dad once got a letter from Stephen King’s lawyers informing my father that he was to cease and desist in sending mail to the author.  What precipitated this letter, you ask?  Well, my father thought it would be hilarious to send Mr. King a series of letters claiming that the ideas for [...]

If I were independently wealthy I would totally be a recluse.  I think I would be awesome at it.  I would be able to dedicate all of my time to cleaning and developing my neurosis.  I realize that most people dream of a life where they could easily afford to travel all the time and [...]

Dearest People Who Read This,
My brain hurts,  so I’m going to do something a little different today.  I’m going to share lots of random thoughts.  None of which are related.  Well, they are related in the sense that they originated in my brain parts, but that’s it.  Essentially, I’m too lazy to work any smooth [...]

This is better than a blowjob.  From Andy Dick.  Its way worse than a blowjob from Megan Fox or something.  But way superior to an Andy Dick blowjob.  And on that note…
Introducing, my super awesome, not at all offensive, JESUS CALENDAR!

Cass won the first calendar without even trying, and if you would like to join [...]

First off, I really want to say thank you to all of you who have commented and emailed asking if I’m okay.  You can’t imagine how much I appreciate it.  And let me assure you, I am totally okay.  Okay-ish.  Like I’m okay for me, but probably not okay on the Normal Human Scale Of [...]

Let me tell you a story.  A story about how my new apartment is infested with bats.  And mice.  And you can’t drink the water.  Because it smells like rotten eggs.  Well, it only smells  when we have water, which is approximately 50% of the time.  So, that was less of a story and more [...]