The Pilgrim Congress

Tomorrow I am leaving for Manila.  Tomorrow I will get up at an ungodly hour and drive to Logan airport and get on an airplane.  And then I will throw up and pray to Jesus.  And then throw up some more.  And pray again.  And then I’ll die.  I’m pretty sure this is the arc [...]

Funny story, my dad once got a letter from Stephen King’s lawyers informing my father that he was to cease and desist in sending mail to the author.  What precipitated this letter, you ask?  Well, my father thought it would be hilarious to send Mr. King a series of letters claiming that the ideas for [...]

If I were independently wealthy I would totally be a recluse.  I think I would be awesome at it.  I would be able to dedicate all of my time to cleaning and developing my neurosis.  I realize that most people dream of a life where they could easily afford to travel all the time and [...]

Dearest People Who Read This,
My brain hurts,  so I’m going to do something a little different today.  I’m going to share lots of random thoughts.  None of which are related.  Well, they are related in the sense that they originated in my brain parts, but that’s it.  Essentially, I’m too lazy to work any smooth [...]

This is better than a blowjob.  From Andy Dick.  Its way worse than a blowjob from Megan Fox or something.  But way superior to an Andy Dick blowjob.  And on that note…
Introducing, my super awesome, not at all offensive, JESUS CALENDAR!

Cass won the first calendar without even trying, and if you would like to join [...]

First off, I really want to say thank you to all of you who have commented and emailed asking if I’m okay.  You can’t imagine how much I appreciate it.  And let me assure you, I am totally okay.  Okay-ish.  Like I’m okay for me, but probably not okay on the Normal Human Scale Of [...]

Let me tell you a story.  A story about how my new apartment is infested with bats.  And mice.  And you can’t drink the water.  Because it smells like rotten eggs.  Well, it only smells  when we have water, which is approximately 50% of the time.  So, that was less of a story and more [...]

If I were a rich man, da da da da da da da da DAAAAAAA.
I’ve had that song stuck in my head all day.  And I only know that one line.  I’m pretty close to shooting myself just to make it stop.
On a happier note, I’ve recently diagnosed myself with epilepsy.  How?  Easy, with the [...]

If you would like the answer to the mystery of why I don’t smile, watch the vlog below.  If you would like to read about Jesus and pirates and supermarkets, check out my guest post on Big Sky Girl.  Something for everyone.
Update: So, I just noticed that my guest post isn’t up yet.  I swear [...]