The Pilgrim Congress

Tomorrow I am leaving for Manila.  Tomorrow I will get up at an ungodly hour and drive to Logan airport and get on an airplane.  And then I will throw up and pray to Jesus.  And then throw up some more.  And pray again.  And then I’ll die.  I’m pretty sure this is the arc [...]

There is probably nothing I hate more than when someone forwards me some asinine email about crime rates, or people of Walmart, or a video of some kid dancing to some piece of music that makes my ears bleed.  Lets just all agree that the Internet is a truly awesome place, full of wonder and [...]

Dearest People Who Read This,
My brain hurts,  so I’m going to do something a little different today.  I’m going to share lots of random thoughts.  None of which are related.  Well, they are related in the sense that they originated in my brain parts, but that’s it.  Essentially, I’m too lazy to work any smooth [...]

My back is broken.  Well, my sacrum.  Not my entire back.  Like I can still walk and stuff.  I’ve gotten ahead of myself, lets back up a bit.
Monday morning, I take Coco out for a walk before I leave for the office.  The stairs are icy and I slip and fall.  On my brick stairs.  [...]

I hate Christmas.  For many reasons, some of which I will outline for you here:
1.)    I do not like events that require “family time.”  I feel this is self-explanatory, but in case its not, I’ll elaborate:  My family is crazy and holidays generally descend into arguing about topics ranging from income taxes to various family [...]

A surprising number of people are into freaky pilgrim on ninja porn.  And Ben and I are happy to oblige, however there is a minor issue.  My camera is awful.  Like it is the worst camera ever.  After months of trying to get it to focus and take photos, it continues to mock me.  But [...]

Up until now there have been only two subjects that I considered off limits in this blog.
1.  My job.
This is purely practical.  I have no interest in being dooce’d.  I work in a conservative field, for a conservative company, in a very buttoned-up position.  Also, my job is not terribly [...]

First off, I am not dead.
Secondly, I did not quit blogging.
Thirdly, your emails?  They touched me.  Inappropriately.  They made me take my top off and they touched me.  It was very uplifting.
On to your questions:
Jill Pilgrim, why did you stop posting?
Short prison sentence.  Which may or may not be related to the male prostitute ring [...]

This is better than a blowjob.  From Andy Dick.  Its way worse than a blowjob from Megan Fox or something.  But way superior to an Andy Dick blowjob.  And on that note…
Introducing, my super awesome, not at all offensive, JESUS CALENDAR!

Cass won the first calendar without even trying, and if you would like to join [...]