The Pilgrim Congress

There are all sorts of things at which I excel.  For example, I can listen to a podcast and read a book simultaneously and retain nearly all of both.  Also, I give a stellar blow job.  These are just the highlights people, I have all manner of other talents in the valley between fellatio and [...]

But instead of three days it took fourteen months.  To be fair Jesus is kind of an overachiever, so don’t judge me too harshly.  I would love to give you an explanation for why I suddenly stopped posting, but I feel like that would be a little too easy.  Instead I’m going to provide a [...]

I realize I’m a little late to the party, 3 days late.  Forgive me.
Currently I am married to this gorgeous man.

These days Valentine’s Day is a fun affair.  This year Ben bought me flowers and chocolates and he made me a lobster dinner.  But that’s not what this is about.  No, this is about one [...]

If I were independently wealthy I would totally be a recluse.  I think I would be awesome at it.  I would be able to dedicate all of my time to cleaning and developing my neurosis.  I realize that most people dream of a life where they could easily afford to travel all the time and [...]

I have a real job that is not blogging related.  That real job is sending me to the Manila.  In the Philippines.  In Asia.  And I have so much to say about it, but since I don’t blog about work I’ll just say in March expect some super awesome international blogging.  Primarily about sexy Asian [...]

Oh Internet, how long has it been since I updated you on the state of my mental health?  Too long, you say.  That’s what I thought.
Let me give you the haiku version first.  Still crazy in head.  Pharmaceuticals help some.  Jesus Banana.
Now for the slightly longer, but still appropriate blog length, version:
I no longer see [...]

I may have mentioned here before that I’m someone who enjoys solitude on occasion.  In keeping with that particular personality trait, I sometimes suck as a friend.  I am notoriously difficult to get in touch with: I rarely keep my phone on, I don’t have a Facebook account, I check my personal email every couple [...]

At my core, I am an insecure narcissist who needs lots of approval from others in order to continue functioning.  It follows that one of my favorite things in life is the specific brand of validation called “blog awards.”  There’s a little problem though, I also lack the proper follow through to acknowledge and pass [...]

I hate Christmas.  For many reasons, some of which I will outline for you here:
1.)    I do not like events that require “family time.”  I feel this is self-explanatory, but in case its not, I’ll elaborate:  My family is crazy and holidays generally descend into arguing about topics ranging from income taxes to various family [...]