Jill Pilgrim, Why Don’t You Smile?
If you would like the answer to the mystery of why I don’t smile, watch the vlog below. If you would like to read about Jesus and pirates and supermarkets, check out my guest post on Big Sky Girl. Something for everyone.
Update: So, I just noticed that my guest post isn’t up yet. I swear I did not hallucinate writing about Jesus pirates at the supermarket. I don’t think I hallucinated it. Hmm. I’m sure it will be up eventually. Or not, if I imagined it.
Update Part Dos: Confirmation that I did not just dream about pirate Jesus? My post is up. Unless its just that those mushrooms finally kicked in and I’m seeing things. Both are possible.
Seriously, Last Update: Ben just watched my vlog and he is now concerned that people are really going to think I can’t smile. So, Internet, let me clarify- I can in fact smile. I just choose not to because I am a hag. Or a robot. Probably the latter.
I’m sure that there exists one already, but…thinking of the Gospels written in Pirate speak (Pirate-ese?) kind of makes me laugh. It would definitely change the Celebration of the Mass.
“Yar, I say to ye, take this and eat it, tis my booty, given up fer ye.”
“Arrr…er…um…arrrr-MEN!”
That’s one reason I have rodents, in their cage, away from aaaaall of my lovely shoes.
I love shoes. And I love smiling.
But, you have such a pretty smile…
Yeah, I know, that’s a lame comment, but what’s even more lame (lamer?) is that I can’t FREAKING access videos/vlogs at work.
[Insert stream of profanities. Sorry, Jesus.]
I like those shoes! PROTECT THEM! That’s so sad about the smiling. I sometimes have that problem too. Then, my mom emails me: “Honey, Smile more in the photos on your website.”
I am happy.
That you saved those gorgeous shoes from your shoe eating dog. She’s lucky she’s cute.
Happy Friday!
Haha!
This is why cats are better. They sit on my shoes, but they don’t eat them.
Love your bedding!
i think i have those shoes! probably not, unless! you got them at walmert?* hey, guess what? i love you! and i love this video and i love your dog AND i love that you are holding shoes above your head during most of this video. the end. except for my love. my love is NEVERending!
*i don’t shop at walmert because they’re the devil. and also i don’t want people to take pictures of me in my purple walmert outfit and post them on one of those sites. how embarrassing.
“my bubbly affect” made me throw back my head and laugh. It is so beautiful that despite your tragic genetic impairment you are able to give the gift of smiling to the internets…especially me, cause I found out today my financial aid appeal was DENIED. So there ya go, lightening my mood even while revealing the cross that you bear so bravely.
Or via sandwich board … haha I fucking love you.
sorry lady! i had it scheduled for 8am. is totally up now!
maybe if you didn’t buy such tasty shoes and underwear then she wouldn’t eat them! My dear, loverly animals don’t eat any of my stuff, but I buy cheap shit, so it tastes bad. Well, Scampi ate a shirt one day, but it was an EXPENSIVE shirt. And she ate a throw rug one day, but it wasn’t mine, it was my old roommates, so I didn’t care. And she ate a houseplant once, but she was little. As when she ate the cd’s. Now she only eats dog food and cheese.
i love you i love you i love you.
girl you crack me up and we are so similar.
and i think smiling
couldshould totally be right up your alley. because you’re gorgeous!Let us see those pearly whites lady.
Sandwich board? Does Ralph Lauren make those? If so, I need to get one immediately.
Also? I am fucking in love with you. And those shoes are cuuuuute!!!!
Love the shoes. At least your dog has good taste. This is why you shoud get cats, they don’t eat your shoes…mine prefers to eat and destroy toilet paper instead. Oh and another funny no smile excuse you could use would be an over-use of the Botox.
Smiling is overrated. People constantly ask me “What’s wrong?” and I shrug, “Nothing is wrong, why?” Jackass says, “You never smile!”
Just because I don’t run around with a freaking smile plastered to my face like that lunatic Willard Scott, does not mean that something is wrong or that I am planning someones death (I am).
PUPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!
Please to bring him in October?
YOUR DOG IS THE CUTEST AND NAUGHTIEST thing ever! hahahaha aww!
when he/she turned around to look at the camera my heart melted at his/her cute pudgy face ahahaha
(i just adore dogs) xxx
For chimpanzee’s smiling is a sign of weakness and submission. I repeat weakness and submission.
I learned this little doozy from The Office.
My dog is seriously a pain in the ass. She doesn’t chew shoes, she just eats an entire plate of crockpot-cooked pork that was supposed to go to the homeless. Stupid dogs unite!
Your guest post was amazingly hilarious. I really like Jesus humor.
“Sandwich board” made me blow boogers.
You’re hot. Yep.
That is all.
Born without smile muscles eh? tough break