LIVE FREE OR DIE!!! And Other Stuff About My State of Residence
Hey would you like to know where I live? For stalking purposes or otherwise? Well, let me tell you then. I live in a little state called New Hampshire. Otherwise known as the LIVE FREE OR DIE state. No, seriously, that’s our motto. We’re pretty fucking awesome up here.
New Hampshire enjoys about 3.2 miles of Atlantic coastline, and the area surrounding that coastline is known as the Seacoast. I live in the Seacoast. Why am I telling you this? I have a point, I swear.
Up until a year and a half ago, I had always lived in Massachusetts. In cities, in Massachusetts. Cities, with things like subways and street lights. The convenience was unbeatable.
But now I live in New Hampshire, where I don’t pay taxes, and I buy my liquor from the state , and I don’t have to wear a motorcycle helmet should I choose not to.
Those were fun facts, right? Let me share some more insights about New Hampshire living with you.
1.) Seriously, no sidewalks. New Hampshire doesn’t even know what a pedestrian is, and it does not feel the need to accommodate them.
2.) Sometimes I get up in the morning and go outside to get in my car, but my car is surrounded by turkeys. Aggressive turkeys.
3.) I drive down this one street regularly to get to the highway. I often have to stop my car for chickens. That are crossing the road. To get to the other side. Seriously.
4.) In my town center? A fruit and real estate store. Fruit. And. Real. Estate.
5.) There is this gas station in the western part of the state, where my in laws live, and you know what they sell? Moose drooping earrings. Jewelry made from moose shit.
6.) Remember how I mentioned that I don’t pay taxes? No state income tax, no sales tax? Guess what that means? No money for things like “plowing the highway.” In the winter, its every man for himself.
7.) In New Hampshire you can wear a gun strapped to your leg, outside of a presidential town hall meeting and that’s totally kosher.
8.) I have learned that “LIVE FREE OR DIE” is an appropriate response to any and all political discussions. Gun control? “LIVE FREE OR DIE!” Universal healthcare? “LIVE FREE OR DIE!” Kittens for the homeless? “LIVE FREE OR DIE!”
9.) I have also learned that “live free or die” is my most favorite thing to say. Ever.
In closing? New Hampshire is awesome and you should live here. We’ll be best friends. It will be the balls.
P.S. It turns out I actually didn’t have a point, but here’s a drawing instead.
You know what you also have in NH? Clarke’s Trading Post http://www.clarkstradingpost.com/
I love bears that perform tricks. That place was so rad when I was a kid.
New Hampshire is gorgeous. I used to live in Rhode Island and we’d take frequent trips up there.
I live in Seattle and this area is extremely liberal. However. The rest of the state? Chicken farms, wheat fields and people with no teeth who drive trucks with gun racks and confederate flags flying from their antennae. We also don’t have a state income tax and have to buy our liquor from the state, but we have one of the highest sales tax rates in the country. And yet we still didn’t have enough money to plow the streets this past winter. Eeeeek.
I’m scared and intrigued all at once….Maybe on the grand road trip of ‘09 (to be blogged about tomorrow) I’ll have to make an NH stop. Any chance to see chickens crossing the road…
This blog made me want to learn about my state! That is until I remembered that I DON’T LIVE IN AN EFFING STATE! I live in a “commonwealth”, where, until recently;
Didn’t allow Liquor or Beer stores to open on Sunday! What the fuck!? You mean I have to go to church sober?
Refuses to sell Everclear! Seriously… what if my car runs out of gas and all of the gas stations are closed? Or I am tired of NOT being black out drunk in 20 minutes.
ISN’T A STATE!
My “commonwealth” includes the city of Philadelphia, which should immediately be torched and the land it stood on banned for use of any sort of civilization.
New Hampshire is sounding better by the second…
Haha… turkeys?! LOL.
While you have foul running amok and trying to cross roads (*teehee*), we have cows that like to run rampant in some rural parts of Colorado. You could technically run over a chicken. Hit a cow and you and the car are pretty effed. Damn cows.
Let’s just say when the title of your post came up in my reader it caught me off guard becuase….uhh I myself live in new hampshire. weird! WEIRD! I had no idea there were other NH bloggers. We can split the state right down the middle with a crudely built fence.
I LOVE New Hampshire! It’s so beautiful there – you’re so lucky. Love this post
I love the fact that NH has no sales tax, whereas I live in Chicago w/ the highest sales tax in the nation (10.25%)
LMAO! Jill, you are my new fave blogger! Your posts are so funny XD
P.S I’m a shorty too but still rock flats b/c I’d rather “live free or die”! Ha!
Turkeys? Are you fucking serious? And chickens?! I was actually looking up New York City gun laws recently. For uh, no particular reason. Is hunting legal too then? Man I can’t imagine not living in the city. I feel awkward in smaller towns. Plus I’m brown, so I stand out.
Speaking of balls, I think you’ll enjoy my latest post.
hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. could i handle your state. hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. livestock roaming free. no sidewalks. crap earrings. i really am not sure if i could handle that. but i could handle a visit. but methinks east coasters generally hate west coasters and don’t want them invading their space. but that could be urban legend. or not.
Gotta love New Hampshire. My fiance has a t-shirt from NH that says “No Income Tax”…as well as one that says “Manchvegas” (seriously, they sell those). But I’m loving the picture. Perfectly describes NH
Okay, first things first: your artwork = amazing. The turkey made me laugh out loud. haha
And I’m not sure why a fruit and real estate centre seems odd to you, don’t they seem like a perfect match? I know I like to buy my mangoes from a real estate agent. yum.
You live in NH huh? I thought NH was one of those states that people don’t actually live in, kind of like South Dakota and Idaho. I live in Northern VA…yes it must be specified that it’s NORTHERN VA. If it were up to the residents we would be our own state…err…Commonwealth. Which reminds me, what the hell is the difference between a State and a Commonwealth?
If I moved there would you draw me dirty stick figures whenever I wanted?
Hahahaha I just died. That may just convince me to move to New Hampshire in the future. The turkeys and chickens alone could convince anyone.
You’ve gotta be kidding me!!! WOW! You guys really do live free!I wanna move there and hang out and possibly see some turkeys and maybe draw pictures of them too!! …not so sure about the moose droppings though…
my head just exploded thinking about having to beat away aggressive turkeys to go pick up some fruit in town.
when i was younger i went on a bed and breakfast tour with my family that included NH and i though it was the most beautiful state though.
Hahahaha! I’ve gotta admit, all the things you listed sound awesome and the motto, um… that’s badass, for sure!
Haha, I will forever think of New Hampshire as having more than just two giant liquor stores that lie on both sides of the highway at the border.
Clearly, you need to invite me and my skunk killing dog up for a visit and she will take out those aggressive turkeys for you. And then she’ll be all “Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…. where it was attacked by a dog and learned to let Jill drive to work in peace.” And then we can buy some apples and a townhouse. And not pay sales taxes. And use the money that we save to buy some guns.
I base all of this on the premise that living near the coast means that we could go to the beach.
If that’s not the case, you’ll just have to come down here and drive around on our plowed roads. But not near my house, because in Malden we also like to LIVE FREE OR DIE by performing the shittiest of shitty road clearing in the winter. It would kindof be like you were back at home.
I knew about the motto, but had no idea about all the other facts. How did I not know about it? Clearly clearly, I have to at least visit. If only for the turkey’s and the taxes.
You’re definitely my favorite artist, I’ve probably told you that before.
NH sounds… awesome? ha!
Damn chickie – you gave us some great info in this post – I have a new found love for NH!
AND – the Moose Dropping Earrings…Giveaway idea?:-)
XOXO
OMG…
I want to move there now! I didn’t know jack crap about your state! I was a bad American…and here you are with yet another public service. SUCH A GIVER.
I like guns! And turkeys! And chickens! And shitty earrings! Actually not so much but I like Jill! Actually, I love her!
Live Free or Die!!!!
I must be a super lame city girl for my whole life I’ve never seen a real life turkey. Speaking of missing out!
I’ve never seen a real life turkey my whole life, I miss out a great deal. Big city sucks sometimes. I need fresher air and livestocks I can see!
*packs*
*moves to NH*
what? I love turkeys.
Hey, I hear that moose dropping ratings were all the rage at fashion week this year. And now I feel cheated that I must make two stops for corn and a back 40 to plant it on. (This is a lie, because all we can grow in Jersey is tomatos, cranberries & giant hair.)
Really… Best friends? Promise?
That. Sounds. AWESOME!
Wait…I already DO live here.
And have experienced the ‘turkey in the morning’ phenomenon.
And, no, that’s not a euphemism for a morning boner.
You never want to leave the house with a morning boner. The giant turkeys attack you in droves.
True story.
I like turkeys.
I like moose, too.
I also like New Hampshire. I like the state motto. Much better than “The Popular Carolina” or “Earnhardt for President” or whatever the hell our motto is down here.
I’ve thought about moving to New England, because boy howdy do I like snow. And Moooooog.
haha, thanks for that interesting input to New Hampshire…will be sure to remember for when I visit
Live free or die….so much to say….
And lol at the moose droppings. Where can I get me a pair in good ol’ Australia?
Turkeys are funny, funny creatures.
Dude, I hate the aggressive turkeys. I thought they were bad in MA, but SHIT! Outside your CAR in NH? Damnnnn. Also? I love guns. And you. So mabes I’m moving north.
i saw five turkeys (fucking five!) in the middle of the road today, getting in the way of my zen-like (okay, sweaty as balls) run. damn those suckers! and this was in boston! wtf?
i love where you live, and will actually be there next weekend. did you know i was coming for lunch?
Part of me thinks this is the coolest place on earth ….another part of me is thinking ….
….well right now it’s thinking you’re watching me cos you’ve just left a comment on my page ….
….but NOW it’s gone back to thinking that you made this whole place up to lure unsuspecting bloggers into your grasp!
But it’s probably just the coolest place on earth!
I’ve never been to New Hampshire, but that picture is persuading me to make it my next vacation destination. I really do need to buy a condo, and I certainly wouldn’t mind some bananas and turkeys either. There are chickens running all around Lithuania too. Also, there was a cow being milked on a median of a major street in the middle of the 2nd largest city in Lithuania. Can New Hampshire beat that???
ha. I just came to your blog for the first time from Live it Love it. The title caught my attention since I live in NH.
Unfortunately, I was born and raised in NH, moved to Boston for 6.5 years, and was *convinced* by the husband that we should move back to NH. I kicked and screamed the whole time. Anyhoo…the moose drooping earrings are bad- BUT, MY dad TRAPS animals (Like for fur) and gave me a pair of earrings MADE OUT OF bones. But guess what the bones were- A Mink’s dink! Yes, He really gave me mink dink earrings for Xmas one year! He also expected I know every type of animal dropping in the woods by the time I got my driver’s license-that was his test for me!
I am happy to read someone loves NH so much!
I do love it this time of year though! I also receive guns for Xmas and Birthdays!
oops- forgot site the first time
I always loved the “Live Free or Die” plates… that is why I stay the fuck out of NH!
I was in Portsmith just a few days ago. In a stretch hummer limo to get ice cream at Annabelle’s. Thats how my family rolls.
Annabelle’s ice cream was recently on a yahoo list of top ice cream places in the US. My verdict… not that great. Stretch hummer limo, also over rated.
I can’t believe you didn’t get me moose dropping earrings!!! Our love is a sham!
You sold me on NH. I totally want to move there now. It sounds so super bad ass.
Live free of die!!!!!
Wouldn’t “turkeys for the homeless” be a better political gambit?
One stone. That’s all I’m sayin…
So, basically NH is full of crazy liberals who love to drink? And turkeys?
That’s SO my kind of state. Even the lack of snow plowing…just an excuse to call in to work in my mind
surrounded by turkeys would really-really freak me out BIG time!
No thank you mammm…
whahhhh…
this was hilarious to read!!! i can’t believe bloody turkeys surround your car and you have to wait for chickens to cross AND you only have fruit.and.real.estate! too funny! xxx
Hahaha! Sounds like my kind of place!
LOL!! ummm turkeys?!?!
First, it’s too early for addition.
Second – we have sidewalks, there are sidewalks in Hampton and Portsmouth, your blanket statement offends me
Third – I think you are referring to Moose droppings, because what are moose droopings? Drooping moose would be awfully heavy on my lobes.
Beats the hell out of California any day.