A Love Story In Retrospect, Part III: Return of the Tiger
Disclaimer: There are no tigers in this post. Sorry.
So, what have we covered so far? Oh yes, our drunken meeting and drunkener dating. For anyone who didn’t read the first two posts, let me recap:
Meeting: Drunk. At a dive bar. While my friend was hitting on Ben in the most uncomfortable way ever.
Dating: Still drunk. Occasional awkwardness. Glorious pantlessness.
Now that everyone’s caught up lets jump right into it, shall we?
I have a confession. A cheesy confession. A confession so sickly saccharine that you may want to get your throw up bucket before you read it. Ready? Before Ben, I didn’t believe in love at first site, but when I met him I knew immediately that he was the man I was going to marry. Should I hang myself now as punishment for being disgusting? Vote below:
Back on task. About 8 months after Ben and I began dating we started talking about the big M. Masturbation. After we got that out of the way, we started discussing the possibility of marriage. To be honest, I’m not even sure how it came up the first time… which isn’t very interesting, huh? So we’ll just skip that part, just know that the possibility of marriage had been discussed. Moving on.
In August of 2007 I knew that the proposal was imminent. We had been looking at rings (by which I mean I would not at all casually send Ben pictures of vintage engagement rings), we were moving in together, Ben had asked my dad for my hand in marriage.
Tangent: Did you read that correctly? Did Ben seriously ask my father for my hand? Yes kids, that shit totally happened. You may have also noted that Ben and I weren’t living together at the time, we didn’t live together at all until we were engaged with the date set. These two pieces of information tell you something important about my husband. He is way traditional. Though he’s not judgemental, as you probably guessed seeing as how he married me, and I am fucking classless. Tangent over.
Knowing the proposal was coming I did what any normal girl would do. I lost my goddamn mind and bought a wedding dress. And set the date. And booked a venue. Are you scared? Because, I have to tell you, that shit was scary. Obvious question: What the hell was I thinking? Answer: I was thinking nothing, as all brain function ceased once my father told me that he had given Ben permission to ask me to marry him. I was like this:
And in my defense, my mother totally went with me to “just look” at dresses and she DIDN’T STOP ME when I bought a dress. And ordered a custom made veil of Italian lace. And once I had the dress, I was all Well, it wouldn’t hurt to just look at venues. I mean things book quickly, right? And before I could start my venue search I needed to think about when the wedding should be. SO I CHOSE A DATE. And then one day I just happened to be driving by the most perfect wedding venue ever, and I just stopped in to get a closer look, and before I knew what happened I HAD BOOKED MY WEDDING FOR OCTOBER 12th 2008! WITHOUT A RING! HOLY JESUS! I’m sorry I’m yelling, but I really just need you to understand how incredibly insane I went.
So, while I’m doing all of this crazy shit Ben is planning the perfect proposal. Lets move on to that portion of the story. Its far less frightening.
The actual proposal went something like this:
Its a gorgeous Saturday, Ben and I had plans to go to Walden Pond (aka where Thoreau wrote Walden, aka my favorite place ever) and then grab some lunch in nearby Lexington. That morning, while Ben was talking to one of his roommates (or something, not important) I eyed a box on the floor of his closet. Totally in plain view, I was not snooping. Yet. I was about to though. I take a closer look at the box and see its from some cookie place. I’m all What the hell is this? Did Ben order cookies? And why am I not currently eating them? The box is open, so I take a little peak inside. And hey guess what? Its filled with fortune cookies. And guess what the fortune says? Jill, will you marry me? HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS! So, I’m basically stroking out at the moment. I totally ruined the surprise, but I was ready to pee my pants with excitement. I now knew that the next time we ordered Chinese food, he was going to propose.
Now I needed to look totally normal and play it cool. So, I tried to be all casual when Ben came back into the room to see if I was ready to go. Instead of jumping on him and screaming, “I WILL TOTALLY MARRY YOU!” I just said, “Sure, lets go.” We go to Walden and its gorgeous. We hike around the pond, we swim a little, we talk about how much we love each other, we talk about Thoreau. Essentially we make you want to throw up with our loviness. After a couple of hours at Walden we head into Lexington. Ben stops and parks at the most gorgeous battle green and says, “I’m not really hungry enough for lunch yet, want to just relax here for a little while.” So we do that, he has a blanket and we have some light snacks and drinks, and we’re laying there in the middle of the battle green and life is perfect. Finally Ben says, “I’m hungry, are you ready?” So I get up, go to adjust my shoe, Ben grabs my hand to steady me, I turn to say thank you and I realize he’s on one knee. With the most gorgeous ring I have ever seen. And he asks me to marry him. Ben had a little speech prepared, and he told me how much he loved me, all of me. How much he loved how much I loved him. How he wanted to be with me forever. How he wanted to make me as happy as I made him. So, I cried and shook and said yes.
Then I told him, “Surprise! I already set the date and booked the venue and bought a dress!” And he still wanted to marry me. He’s a keeper.
And this? This is how well Ben knows me, he bought the cookies as a ruse so I wouldn’t know when he was really going to propose. Also? The battle green where he popped the question? The same place where my grandfather asked my grandmother to marry him. Awwww, OR Throwing Up Noises.
In closing, here are some random photos:
Me being psycho at a bridal shop pre-engagement (edited to protect the innocent):
The Christmas after we got engaged (for no reason other than I think Ben looks adorable in the photo):
And the obligatory “Looking Into The Future” engagement portrait (holy embarrassing pose, Batman!):
Next week, the final installment: The Wedding, OR How Ben Came To Be Chained To A Radiator.
FIRST COMMENT YEAAAAAAAAH BITCHES. I’m glad the fortune cookie was a ruse. The hell is wrong with you, woman? Have you no patience?! Also, the cuteness of your story makes me want to end my miserable life.
do you know what i first noticed about those photos? “OMG, Jill is ALMOST SMILING WITH HER FACE AND NOT JUST HER HEART!”
that is how well i have gotten to know you through your blog. awh, specialness.
but not as special (or awh) as this story, lady!! how perfectly wonderfully super. and mad props to ben for trying to throw you off the trail. my future fiancee will have to do that also, not because he needs a ruse, but because i am one snoopy bitch.
GODDAMMIT i always forget to do the spam thing!
Awww what a sweet story. He sounds like quite the keeper. Although I had to laugh at how much you did BEFORE the ring, lol!
Ps, since I’m on a shoe kick these days, like totally obsessed – love the shoes you’re wearing in the last pic!
AWWWWWWW the picture in front of the tree is SO CUTE I want to cuddle you both. I can’t believe you booked your wedding in advance. OH yes I can. This is why I blog crush you. Are you feeling better luvah?? Can’t wait for the wedding next week!
Awww he’s so romantic! And, the pictures are so cute. I agree, you ARE almost smiling with your face.
I’ve been engaged for a year and a half, and we still have no A.) date set B.) venue or C.) wedding dress. I have the opposite problem, I guess. Also, my engagement happened in an airport, while I was dropping V off to fly to Latvia. He goes up the escalator, then all of a sudden, he’s running back down the escalator yelling, “WAIT! Can I take valuables through customs?” So, of course I say, “You have nothing valuable. Just give me whatever it is.” Oops…
Asif- I have absolutely no patience. Its an illness. Also, I heart you for yelling FIRST in your comment. Totally made me feel like Perez Hilton. Lastly, DON’T DO IT! YOU’RE TOO YOUNG AND HANDSOME TO DIE!
Raeleigh- First off, can I call you Rae now that we’re special blog friends? Because I think that is just the cutest name ever. Secondly, the ruse was awesome! It was really the only way he was going to surprise me, seeing as how I lost my mind and was obsessed with the proposal.
Ari- Yes, it is very laugh worthy… and crazy… mostly crazy. And, those shoes? Target. Still have them, most comfortable heels ever. Thank you Mossimo (or however the hell you spell that).
Elizabeth Marie- Do you know that I audibly squee every time you say you have a blog crush on me? I big puffy heart you. Also, yes I am feeling much better! The evil hormones have gone back into their hiding place… for now. DUN DUN DUN.
Brooke- Dude, that is freaking hilarious! What did V do after you said that? Please go and post that story on your blog now so that I can read it. Thanks in advance.
i admire how you embrace your preemtive bridezilla-ness, fully admitting that you were full of crazy. life’s more interesting that way, i’d rather be crazy than boring.
i also adore the christmas tree picture
lastly, does this mean the “love story installments” are over? if so that makes me sad
I don’t think I’ve ever heard this story! That’s so adorable. I love the part about the cookies, what a smart guy! I love my second husband. You’re lucky I share him with you.
You guys are so sweet! And I love the looking into the future pose! It looks like there should be a ghosty house in the background and ghosty children playing in front of you for all your looking into the future
How pretty are you??? Geesh. Those eyes. Ok, creepy gushing will end now. P.S. I totally ruined my proposal too. One weekend I was like, so when do you think we are going to get married? He was like uhhhhhhhhhhh. I was like, what’s wrong? He was like, I was about to take you ring shopping today. OOPS. He had had it all set up. I’m an arse. But you two are the cutest.
I want to say that, while society would say some of the things you did were crazy, instinct says otherwise. I have had multiple friends say, “I knew the dress the second I tried it on,” (as in, their wedding dress – most women know immediately when the dress is on that they will buy it). Also, as far as venues go, your intuition is way more dependable than anything else. And as far as knowing your husband was “the one,” I hear that too – that sometimes people just…know.
I’m glad you guys are so happy.
So wait… he got custom made fortune cookies?
Thats brilliant.
My thoughts:
I’m thinking I have a crush on your husband, just because of the burgundy pants.
Why are you so awesome looking in pictures
AND
As great as this story is, I think if a tiger was there, or maybe drawn..? I would have liked it enough to take my clothes off and make a Vlog.
i just stumbled upon your blog via 20sb. i LOVE it. this entry is hysterical, and it totally reminds me of…well, me, actually. i’m definitely going to be adding you to my google reader and linking you from my blog. and friending you on 20sb. okay. done being a creepshow.
Lusty- I’m sure the love story installments will continue real time, they just won’t be so retrospective. Maybe I’ll write a romance novel-esque recounting of our honeymoon.
Dani- I am so lucky that you agreed to share Ben with me. Especially after Saturday night. I think he wants to live with you and have you cook for him, I may be in trouble.
Kyla- You are so right! Now I just need to figure out how to photoshop that in to complete the image.
Kristin- You are so sweet (and gorgeous, is this so I’ll stop hating you for being too pretty? because it totally worked).
Summer- Exactly! There are times when you just know its right. And for the record, I bought the first dress I tried on- I just knew.
Matt- Yes, he totally bought custom fortune cookies. Of which we still have about 50. That are stale. But I feel bad throwing them out. Do you want one? If you ever decide to marry a chick named Jill, you’re totally set.
Katie- Whoa, whoa, whoa. I am going to hold you to that. I am posting a tiger picture tomorrow and I fully expect to see you naked in return.
kk- Yay! I am so happy that you dig it!! I’m off to check out your blog now!
I have to say your blog is awesome, love the paint and comments on pics.
oh my GOD! if i didn’t already love you i would TOTALLY HATE YOU! this is the cutest thing ever. let’s all move in together and live happily ever after.
That’s like, one of the sweetest proposals I’ve ever read EVER. And a guy who totally loves you enough to not get freaked out when you have everything ready is a keeper.
I’m happpy for you.
ps. thank you for your kind words regarding my cousin, it means a lot to me and my family.
D. Kendall- You are awesome! High five!
Beck(eeeeeeeeeeeeee)- Yay! I totally vote we all move in together and then Chuck and Ben can be best friends, and you and I can be best friends (and secret lovers, perhaps?) and we’ll all live happily ever after. I’ll inform Ben this afternoon.
Andhari- He really is such a sweet guy for putting up with my total craziness. And, p.s. :big hugs:
Before I read this? I was excited to meet you.
Now? I love you so much that when I do, I just might cut off your skin and wear it a little bit so I can be you, all SWF-like.
Kidding. I’m normal. I swear.
Well, you know that’s not true. But I’m safe, at least. You might get a little shart on you is all.
xoxo
I’m in love with this story. I started all that planning stuff before the Hubby actually proposed. And I had no hints about that he was actually going to do it…so that was not good.
Thanks for sharing. Love the pics by the way…all of them!
Awww, that is my favorite story. Those fortune cookies were money well spent!! I knew you would find them in my closet. I was so excited when you said YES but I was even more excited to find out you already had the dress, veil, venue, and date picked out! I really am such a lucky guy, I love you honey
LiLu- I am so excited and not at all scared!
Pam- I am so glad I’m not alone on this! Thank you for admitting you did it too.
Ben- I love you. So much.
You are officially my favorite person EVER. At least it all worked out in the end and he actually proposed. Haha. The pictures of you guys are really cute too
you are very quickly becoming one of my favorite bloggers. you move fast…
slut.
that is all.
Taylor- Hahahaha, thank you!
Alexa- I am such a trampy blogger. But, that’s why you love me.
you are extremely beautiful and perfect! <3
Oh my God, will you marry me? Because I think I just fell in love.
of COURSE you may call me Rae. don’t tell anyone, because it is a very exclusive club. because i do NOT think it is the cutest name ever. but since you are adorable and have probably been called things like jilly bean (which i may do on occasion unless it would cause my untimely death in which case, just kidding!) i can be called Rae.
secondly, i am so happy that there are other girls like me in the world who are completely and totally mentally ill.
thirdly, i actually remembered to do the spam math problem! and i didn’t have to use a calculator this time! yes!
You can totally call me Jilly Bean. And I think Rae is such a cute name! I’m totally honored to gain entry to such an exclusive club.
And yes, mental instability is totally my thing.
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