The Pilgrim Congress

Like my incredibly creative title?  Amazing, isn’t it?

When we last left our tale, I had just met Ben in the classiest of ways… drunk in a dive bar… while my friend was hitting on him.  I know you’ve been unable to move on in your life without knowing what happened next?!  Let me help you out with that.

First Contact After Meeting, or Which Ben Is This?

Have I mentioned that at the time I met Ben I was a bit whoreish?  Because its true.  And kind of important to the next part of our story. 

A few days before meeting Ben I was out (again with Linda) at my absolute most favorite Irish pub, The Burren.  A bar where I made out with several of the bartenders on various occasions, and where I embarrassed myself many a time.  Also where I had met another Ben a few days before meeting my-future-husband-Ben. 

Lets pause for a second.  Here’s the thing, there are many, many, manyproblems that arise from being slutty.  One of these problems is that you end up meeting lots of guys, some of whom have the same name, and then you end up putting all of these guys in your cell, and before you know it you have four different Mikes in your phone book and you have no idea which is which.  Its a pretty classy predicament.

A couple of days after meeting Future-Husband-Ben, I texted him.  Accidentally.  Thinking he was the other Ben, Burren Ben.  Awesome.  You see, I had plans with Burren Ben to meet up that night, and I was simply confirming the time.  With the wrong guy.  I am so awkward, are you understanding this yet?  Well, Future-Husband-Ben was understandably confused and called me.  I promptly wanted to shoot myself.  I was convinced that I had ruined my chance with this completely gorgeous and wonderful guy.  But, Future-Husband-Ben was very sweet about it the mishap.  He was leaving for a business trip that night, and we made plans to chat when he got back.

First Date, The Awesomeness Continues

You’ll never guess where our first date was.  A bar!  Shocked?  I know. 

Our first date started off wonderfully, great conversation, lots of chemistry, perfection.  Until Ben’s roommate showed up.  Um, weird.  Ben’s roommate crashed our date.  No seriously, this guy walks into the bar directly up to Ben and I, sat down, ordered a drink, and started chatting.  Ben did not seem at all surprised.  To me this was a clear indication that Ben was not interested.  I had visions of Ben surreptitiously texting his roommate asking to be saved.  I wanted to die.  So I left, sure I would not see Ben again.

Second Date, Dear Jesus What Is Going On Here

A few days after the   that was our first date, I got a call from Ben asking me if I wanted to go out for dinner in the North End with him and some of his friends from college.  I agreed, but was a tad confused.  Was this a date?  Did he just think I was hilarious (well, obviously) and wanted to be buddies?   Confusion.  Lots of it.

I went, not sure what to expect.  I show up at Ben’s apartment and I see that its all couples.  Score!  Definite date, albeit a triple date.  The six of us head to the North End.  BUT, guess what Internet?  There was a seventh member of our party waiting for us at the restaurant!  A female member.  A female who clearly wanted to Ben to touch her bathing suit areas.  Holy awkwardness.

We all sit down at our table in the restaurant and at the end of the table are Ben, myself, and the lady who wants Ben, in the following formation:

This was not the type of triple date I originally had in mind.  Convinced that I was either a.) being recruited as a friend, or b.) being recruited as a potential menage a trois participant, I didn’t see this ending the way I wanted.  I was resigned.  Ah, but things?  They quickly turned around!  It became clear that Ben was not interested in Bathing-Suit-Area-Girl!  Again the conversation flowed easily, there was definite chemistry, but there was a lingering feeling of confusion.

After dinner we headed to another bar.  Oh, how our early courtship was alcohol soaked!  Glory be to the fermented grains of deliciousness!  Back on topic, while at this bar Ben and I had a chance to chat, and I had consumed a sufficient amount of alcohol to loosen my tongue enough to ask the obvious question, “What the hell was going on with Bathing-Suit-Area-Lady?”  Ben explained that she was a co-worker of one of the other girls out with us that night, and that he had not known she was coming that night.  Also Bathing-Suit-Area-Lady had a little crush on Ben.  As revealed to him, by her just the night before. 

At this point Bathing-Suit-Area-Lady was looking pretty pissed.  And I was ready to leave.  Once Ben and I arrived at the T station it was time to say goodbye.  Ben told me what a wonderful time he had, and he apologized for the weirdness with Bathing-Suit-Area-Lady.  Then we had our first kiss.  And it was perfect.  I absolutely melted and immediately started planning our wedding and naming our babies in my head.

Third Date, Will You Be My Boyfriend?  But More Naked? 

For our third date Ben and I decided to stay in and watch horror movies.  This was a ruse on my part to get Ben to take his pants off (I figured my chances were better in his apartment than out at a bar).  We got through one movie with lots of making out and over-the-clothes groping.   And then I busted out the big guns.  Ready for it?  I said, as Ben was getting up to put in the next DVD, “We should probably just take all of our clothes off and watch this naked.”  Oh, my parents would be proud.  In response Ben got out of his clothes faster than I have ever seen another human disrobe.  And it was glorious.  Three times.

Well friends, that was the shaky, awkward, wonderful beginning to my relationship with the man who is now my husband (and best friend, and all around most favorite person on Earth).  For our next installment I’ll tell you the story of our engagement.  (And how I bought my wedding dress before he popped the question.  Is it possible for me to be more embarrassing?  No?  Good, glad we cleared that up)