Baby vs. Female Lady Parts, A Death Match
I’m kind of a horrible person. People who know me best, know this to be true. Case in point, I think Father’s Day is the absolute most bullshit holiday of all time. That is not to say I don’t love my father, I mean he’s okay and all, I just think Father’s Day is lame. As a general rule I hate all holidays, including but not limited to: Christmas, New Year’s, Valentine’s Day. Christmas is just the worst. I could go on and on in an angry diatribe about why I hate Christmas, but I’ll save that for December. Something to look forward to!
Now you may be asking yourself, But how does she feel about Mother’s Day? Or you may be asking yourself, Why am I reading this?? This girl is both crazy and uninteresting! To which I respond, Then feel free to take your business elsewhere dear sir! We don’t need your kind here! Now back to Mother’s Day, this I can get down with. My mom had to endure horrible things in order to bring me into this world. Horrible, unspeakable things. I would tell you about these horrible things in great detail, but I am lazy so I will just post these vagina/baby math equations instead:
And that my friends is why I can support Mother’s Day.
Now that we’ve clarified that for everyone, I’d like to reassure you that even though I think Father’s Day is totally ridiculous I still celebrated with my family. I even got my dad a card. And a gift. Want to see photos from that glorious day?
The people in my family suffer from a horrible disease which has caused their heads to become bloated and their eyes nothing but black dots. I bought them all pilgrim hats to cheer them up. Luckily, The Fluffs and I escaped this awful fate. Its terribly sad. I don’t actually like to talk about it.
In addition to the Giant Head Disease, my father is also color blind. He doesn’t realize that shirt is fluorescent green. I didn’t have the heart to tell him.
My mom is a pretty okay lady. My brother on the other hand is a bit of an embarrassment. Doesn’t he realize that I do not approve of things as vulgar as giving the finger? What an asshole.
I’d like you to take note of the extensive decorating we did in honor of my father. That is one festive balloon!
Hope you all had an awesome holiday!
Why can I not see you in person every day? The world hate me.
Price- it is total bullshit. You’re going to have to come up to NE.
Jacks- I’m glad to see you were able to pass the math test. Just trying to keep you on your toes!
no one told me there was a math requirement to pass this test…
I don’t even know who came up with Mother’s and Father’s Days. Whatever, it’s an opportunity for me to make amends with my parents.
I don’t understand the second vagina-baby diagram. Vagina minus baby equals scary stuff?
Sassy- that’s what happens when I get all drunk and try to invent my own new form of math. Here was my thinking, Vagina – Baby (like baby exiting vagina) = scary stuff (like I’m pretty sure that your vagina actually bursts into flames, much like the car in my equation).
You have such a beautiful family! I can totally see the resemblence.
Every one understands that our life seems to be high priced, however we need cash for different issues and not every person earns enough cash. So to get fast business loans or term loan should be a right way out.
I like it! I like it a lot.